Archive for Март 12th, 2009
AFTER CANCER: HOW CAN I START TO RE-CREATE MY FUTURE?
Figure out how much time you feel safe thinking about and stick to that time frame. If you feel fairly confident that you will be at least as healthy tomorrow as you are today, make plans to do something tomorrow—have lunch with someone, visit a park, or talk to a friend on the phone. When tomorrow comes, carry out your plans. As you feel better and get involved with non-cancer-related activities, you will feel safer about greater periods of your future. It takes time without medical problems to help you feel safe about the future.
Remember that people who have never had cancer usually focus most of their energies on the present and on the immediate future, and only occasionally on the distant future. Parents with very small children spend little time picturing their children as teenagers or young adults concerned about career and family life. Active, middle-aged people spend little time wondering or worrying about what event or illness will precipitate their death. Even very elderly people who are active and involved in the world around them focus on the immediate future.
When you catch yourself imagining bad outcomes to plans for the future, consciously adjust the picture in your mind to a good outcome. If you cannot do this, turn it off. You are not ready to deal with the future. Counseling may help you to sort out what fears are making it difficult for you to picture the future and to learn how to tame those fears.
Planning for the future does not control the future. It helps you live today and tomorrow. Planning to watch a special show on television or visit with a friend allows you the pleasure of anticipation and gives you a little foothold on the future. If it does not come to pass, little is lost.
Many survivors help diminish their anxiety about the future by consciously making plans. One woman buys a new outfit at end-of-the-season sales. She knows that she will not be able to wear it this year, but the purchase is her statement to herself that she plans to be around next year to wear it. One man renews his magazine subscriptions for three years at a time as his way of demonstrating his desire and will to be here. Instead of allowing his anxiety about his future to control him, he challenges his fear, giving him some sense of control.
Making plans for the future, even if the future is merely a few hours from now, is a way to validate and energize your present. Living in the present requires thoughts and actions that take you into the future.
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