SADO-MASOCHISM
Posted on March 30, 2009, under Men's Health-Erectile Dysfunction.
In sado-masochism there is an erotic association between pain and sex. The sadist inflicts pain and perhaps humiliation and restraint on the partner and the masochist pleasurably endures it. The accepted generalisation is that men are sadistic and women masochistic. Whilst it is undoubtedly true that many women enjoy having intercourse in a brisk, no-nonsense way which brooks no objection and some claim to like rough treatment, which may include having their bottoms smacked, there are probably reasons involved other than masochism. The main one is guilt reduction. A woman who has been brought up to think of sex as dirty and sinful, yet really enjoys it, gets most pleasure when she is ‘forced’ to have sex because it takes her actions out of her own hands and this excuses her otherwise inexcusable (to her) behaviour.
Many woman find it flattering and exciting to have their desirability confirmed by being wanted urgently and passionately, especially if they have been married a long time and think their husbands may be going off them. Many women say that sexual situations are the only ones in which they enjoy being subordinated entirely to a man’s will. Most hope that their partners will do something new to them and many say that it is best if it just happens to them, without their being notified in advance. This state of affairs arises more because of passivity than masochism and it could also be a consequence of the way our culture shames women, which results in their being inhibited in expressing their more unusual needs. However, women may tease men or provoke them to anger, perhaps in the hope that they will end up being treated in a rough way and then ‘forced’ into intercourse.
The subject is highly complex but a simple way of thinking of true sado-masochism is to think of sadists as being afraid of retaliation by the opposite sex so that they feel that their partners have to be controlled and punished. The masochist is afraid of his or her own sexuality and so hands over the control of it to someone else. In most cases, for the sadist really to enjoy the act, the masochist must enjoy it too.
Sadism may have its origin in the anal stage of development but it may also be due to a fusion of sexual and aggressive forces. Symbolic aggression expressed in a sexual form can impart a degree of ardour to a man’s love-making. Masochism is thought to be, amongst other things, the reversal of sadism or the eroticisation of submission. Sado-masochistic desires are frequently combined in the same person and couples who practice sado-masochism frequently change roles. The ability to do this is not present in the true pervert.
*197\164\2*
