Any person coming out invariably throws the family into crisis. Loving parents often want to be supportive but don’t know how. They will need accurate information and support too so that they can genuinely help their child.

It helps to try to get in touch with why you are having trouble dealing with your child’s choice. Have you never been able to talk about emotional things? Graham is thirty-four and told his mother only three years ago. ‘She said, «For God’s sake don’t mention a word of this to your father. You know how conservative he is.» I had no intention of telling Dad because we had never talked about anything more deep and meaningful than the stock market results. Pick any other subject and we would get into an argument about it.’

Strong objections based on religious beliefs can be hard to shake. The old trinity of guilt, shame and fear are pretty powerful emotions. The discomfort they cause forces you to reassess your own sexuality and for some parents this can be an intensely confronting experience, especially if it brings up aspects of their own past that might have been forgotten or suppressed, like adolescent experimenting.

Some parents say they feel like failures … ‘Where did I go wrong?’ … and there may well be a concern about how their own friends, colleagues and relatives might react. Hopefully their child’s need for support will be more important at the time.
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it. Some people complete the process while others will stop somewhere along the way. Remember that there’s no compulsion on anyone to come out. The most important thing is ‘coming out on the inside’ to yourself and being honest about your feelings. Your lifestyle is your own business (and your sexual partner’s) and it’s your decision who you talk to about it.

Disclosing that you are not heterosexual has its risks, so it makes sense to build a buffer zone around yourself first. The mainstay of this is a support system … don’t come out to your family until you have somewhere else to go for Christmas.

One innovative program in New York advises young people to hold off telling their parents until they can financially support themselves, because experience has shown them how often gay and lesbian children get thrown out of their family home when they come out. It’s a matter of self preservation.
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Eat only poison-free foods
Your food should be grown without the aid of chemical fertilizers and should contain no residues of toxic insecticides, chemical additives or preservatives.
Almost all food sold at supermarkets today contains some chemicals, either used in food producing or added during food processing or packing. Many of the poisons in fruits or vegetables are systemic, that is, they cannot be washed out or peeled out, as they penetrate the whole fruit. The only solution seems to be to grow your own food, or buy the certified organically grown food. And, of course, to avoid eating all processed and packaged foods, which contain the most chemicals.

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GENERAL HEALTH

The epidermis starts to develop in the third week of foetal life. The sweat glands become active in the fourth to fifth month of foetal life, and produce the greasy coating found on the newborn’s skin (vernix). This layer is thought to help protect against infection for a short period after birth. Full-term babies are able to sweat within 2-5 days after birth.

DIAGNOSING SKIN PROBLEMS

Although it may seem easy to recognise obvious skin problems, it is always important to confirm your suspicions with your doctor or nurse. Skin problems may be a

Signpost to more serious underlying illnesses. Your doctor usually seek aditional information about the general health of your child, as well as the rest of the family. An examination of the mouth, lips, hair and nails is also important, as well as a general check-up. Your doctor should advise you if any further investigations are necessary, and explain what is involved.

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When you are able to take care of yourself and somebody else, you may start to be in love with someone. When you love someone and they love you, you may want to kiss them. Some people like to kiss the penis and vagina and some people don’t. It’s just like anything else. Everybody likes different things. We should never make anyone do something they don’t want to do, but if we are very clean and grown-up, we can learn to make our own choices about what we like and don’t like to do with other people.

    »What do the boys look at in the dirty books they have? My

daddy has some, too. What’s in there?»

Books aren’t really dirty or bad. Sometimes people who write the books or take the pictures that go in the books or in the movies put in stuff that they think is interesting or will sell their books or movies. They might put in pictures of breasts, penises, vaginas, naked people, people pretending to make love. They are really very boring, because they don’t tell a story or help you learn about life or about yourself. Boys and men and some girls and women look at them to try to see some things they can’t see anywhere else or because they are curious. The whole trouble is, the books, movies, and pictures with such things in them are all made up and exaggerated so you can learn all the wrong things. If you are still curious, ask your mom and dad to show you one of the books you wonder about and talk about it with you. You will probably get real bored real quick.

    »You should never play with yourself. Isn’t that right?»

Anything about how you live depends on what you think your parents think, and on what you decide together. Talk with your

parents about touching yourself and playing with your penis or vagina or clitoris, that little area on girls’ vaginas that feels good when you touch it. A lot of kids do it and a lot of adults do it, and it does not damage your body, but some people believe it is wrong to do it. Just because you can do something and a lot of people do something doesn’t make it right. Right depends on you, your parents, and what you think about life, not what most people do or don’t do.

‘ ‘Why do Mommy and Daddy make funny noises when they are in bed together?»

Well, kids make funny noises all the time, so we grown-ups should have a chance to make them, too. I don’t really know why your mommy and daddy are making their noises. They might be laughing, talking, dreaming, teasing, hugging, kissing, holding— who knows? Everybody enjoys being with someone they love, and they might make enjoyment noises just like you make fun noises when you play or watch television.

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WIFE

Myth nine is an extension of myth eight and assumes not only that women are lovers who will trade love for sex but that women are not interested in variety, excitement, different partners, affairs, cheating, newness, and other «male» things. It may be that men find it easier or more acceptable to report their extramarital sex than women do. Our sexist society has allowed the male more freedom and anonymity than the female, in effect more time and opportunity for sex outside of marriage.

«When in the hell do you think I could do it? I don’t travel, my day is under constant child surveillance. I don’t have time. I am never anonymous, as my husband is. How many massage parlors do you think there are for women anyway? Even if I wanted to, and sometimes I think about it, I don’t know if I could or how I could.» This wife’s report is an example of the limits set on women, the assumption that they don’t because they don’t want to instead of that they may not be allowed to, at least overtly.

Data indicate that as women travel more and have more freedom, they, too, may seek out variety. Not all women will do this, for not all men do it. The scarlet letter «A» originally designated a woman, but gender does not predict proclivity for extramarital sex (Type I or II). Again, the love map determines such things, not genital insignia.

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Take a good «look» at your marriage. Can you sense your spouse beyond the light and sound waves you receive? Does any boredom or predictability you see signal you to look within instead of without? Do you remember why you married this person in the first place? What has happened to you together, and what might happen in the future? Can you find an excitement from within the marriage itself, the combination of the two of you?

New research is showing that a marital cyclicity exists beyond the cycles of each respective partner. Dr. Phillip Sarrell at Yale University saw thirty-nine men who reported erective failure. Rather than attempting to treat their problem, he instead employed estrogen-replacement therapy with their wives and did no intervention of any type with the husbands. Thirty-one of the thirty-nine men returned to complete erective function. They reacted directly and measurably to the changes in their menopausal wives because they were intertwined with them even on a psychophysiological level. Sarrell’s report is direct evidence of the system of sex within a lasting relationship, and allows speculation that psychophysiological changes in wives may equally affect their husbands.

Drs. Harold Lief and Harold Persky have done research indicating a marital hormonal cyclicity that may develop between husband and wife. We have long known that women living, together begin to approximate one another’s menstrual cycles, with one woman serving as the «driver,» the woman to whom the other women seem to adjust their own respective cycles. Perhaps marriages, too, develop their own cyclicity, their own «marital-station,» a cyclicity that can lead to becoming mutually in tune to a level not possible in less committed or shorter relationships.

Current research in the new field of psychoneuroimmunology, the study of the relationship between the brain and the immune system and our feelings, reveals that disruption of the marital bond has direct and clinically detectable impact on the immunoefficiency of each partner. It seems that immunity, like sex, is a system of interaction between people as well as cells and hormonal juices. We are well advised to look to our marriages when we look for our health.

We must not label as boredom the mutual development of sameness, the infinite ebb and flow of feelings and sexuality that takes place in marriage. Perhaps if it’s Saturday and you’ll probably «do it,» it may be one of your mutual marital cycle days for sexuality and not a symptom of boredom at all.

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Repeated injections in osteoarthrosis are not recommended as they may cause long term damage.

Surgery now has a lot to offer, especially recently developed replacement arthroplasty. Hips, knees and other joints can be replaced with metal and plastic prostheses which function well and enable the sufferer to become mobile, pain free and often to continue working.

Osteotomy is the removal of a portion of the bone and realignment of the joint so as to enable a proper weight bearing surface without strain. While cure is not possible there is no excuse for either the patient or the doctor to accept that nothing can be done about osteoarthrosis.

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The condition of Discoid Lupus Erythematosus is a skin disease which produces a «butterfly» type rash on the cheeks, forehead, chin and ears.

Although this facial rash is one of the classic signs of the generalised condition, it is rare. The cause is unknown, but several drugs used for other conditions are capable of provoking a reaction which appears indentical with SLE. Withdrawal of the drug is usually followed by improvement but many people have persistent symptoms.

The lesions may affect any part of the body, so there are a variety of symptoms and the disease may not be initially recognised. Most sufferers develop inflammation of the joints and may be thought to have rheumatoid or some other form of arthritis.

Muscle pain is also common. The skin is commonly involved and this may cause a variety of rashes, none of which is diagnostic of the condition.

The lungs may be involved and lead to shortness of breath or the covering of the lungs becomes inflamed, leading to pleurisy.

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